I've Met Someone 8/29/15

I made profiles on some online dating sites and apps. And of course, almost every message I received was something perverted and rude. A couple seemed nice at first, then became like the rest.

Then I finally received an interesting message that deserved a response.

A man asking about what my relationship status meant, who then thought what he had said may have seemed rude and apologized. And it all started there. We messaged and texted for a few days and then met for the first time this past Tuesday.

We met up at Pioneer Square in Downtown Portland. He was an hour late due to traffic and felt bad about it, but then we spent the next FIVE hours wandering around the streets of Portland. He introduced me to some music he liked that I fell for quickly and have really loved listening to.

At the end of our first date, we went back to where we'd met up so I could catch the MAX home. After waiting and talking for a bit, he asked for permission to kiss me. Which I gave because we'd had a great time and connected well. And because I loved that he'd asked first, although I wish he had asked sooner. As soon as I'd left, I couldn't wait to see him again. Which thankfully, was the next day.

I love that he's brainy and brilliant, but doesn't look like a nerd type. He's got a good sense of humor, a great taste in music and literature. It felt amazing to stretch the wings of my intellectual mind, that often stay furled on a day-to-day basis, because it's not needed.

He's 34, lives in Vancouver, has a degree. I'd never really been interested in older partners, but wow! He's so easy to talk to on every level. He makes me feel unique and intelligent and beautiful.

Most guys I've talked to say crap like 'I'm so horny, you wanna screw?'. He says things like 'I want to kiss you so bad, I've got knots in my stomach.'. I feel wanted, but in no way in a degrading or disrespectful way.

I don't know where this will lead in my poly-amorous life, but I want it to continue. I do wish I could contact him easier, like talk on the phone some time, but every message makes me smile. We've seen each other three times now and I'm counting down until the unknown next time.

Oh, and another favorite thing! He calls me 'love' sometimes as a pet name, and tells me he adores me. I am so glad that I met him, cannot believe my luck at how well we get along. Maybe eventually I'll have enough courage to kiss him first.

She's One of a Kind 8/20/15

I mentioned to my long distance girlfriend that I joined a poly-amorous group on Facebook. That I talk to people, flirt sometimes, etc.

She told me that she would understand if I found someone to replace her.

And that just about broke my heart.

No one else in the world could possibly replace her. Does she not realize how wonderfully amazing she is? How much I truly love her? Before I met her, I had crushes on women, liked them, etc, but had never truly felt attracted to one until falling in love with her. She showed me parts of myself I had hidden inside that were afraid to ever shine out from the darkness.

This woman is my hero, one of the strongest people I know. She has overcome such steep obstacles in her lifetime. She is an amazing mom to her two kids, a great friend, someone who understands me more than I understand myself sometimes. I do not understand how she cannot see how rare a woman, a human, like her is.

We've been together for a little more than six months. We don't talk as much/often as we used to, but anything is truly good enough. Seeing her words, hearing her voice, it is all better than living without contact with her. A dream come true would be to go visit her where she lives, all the way the heck out in Michigan, but I realistically know that it's a bit of a farfetched dream with our situations as they are.

A couple of months into our relationship, she was having issues with an ex girlfriend that was staying with her from out of town. One day, she called me, crying, because the person had physically hurt her. I felt such a rage at hearing that, listening to how upset she was. I wanted to break things, wanted to hitchhike, walk, whatever it took to get me from Oregon to Michigan as soon as possible. She brings out a fighter in me, this leonine woman that I love. I would protect her with every fiber of my being.

I understand I can't satisfy ever need she may have, and that she may someday find another that can be there for her in person. But even if she does, she will always and forever have half of my heart.

I want her for life, not just for a little while.

Reverence 8-15-2015

A dream come true would be to wake up to you

To roll over and stretch and open my eyes,

See your sweet face and come to realize,

That it wasn't all just a fantasy like I had thought.

I'd kiss your eyelids and cheeks and lips,

Wake you slowly with my hands on your hips.

I'd love you gently through and through,

Until you thought all of your reveries had come true.

Then I'd promise to worship you every day,

With every fiber of my being, I never do things halfway

Sun up to sun down, side by side, hand in hand,

There’s Heaven on Earth, and I can show you firsthand

You can be my Wendy and I’ll be Peter Pan

So follow this mischievous sprite to where it all began