She's One of a Kind 8/20/15

I mentioned to my long distance girlfriend that I joined a poly-amorous group on Facebook. That I talk to people, flirt sometimes, etc.

She told me that she would understand if I found someone to replace her.

And that just about broke my heart.

No one else in the world could possibly replace her. Does she not realize how wonderfully amazing she is? How much I truly love her? Before I met her, I had crushes on women, liked them, etc, but had never truly felt attracted to one until falling in love with her. She showed me parts of myself I had hidden inside that were afraid to ever shine out from the darkness.

This woman is my hero, one of the strongest people I know. She has overcome such steep obstacles in her lifetime. She is an amazing mom to her two kids, a great friend, someone who understands me more than I understand myself sometimes. I do not understand how she cannot see how rare a woman, a human, like her is.

We've been together for a little more than six months. We don't talk as much/often as we used to, but anything is truly good enough. Seeing her words, hearing her voice, it is all better than living without contact with her. A dream come true would be to go visit her where she lives, all the way the heck out in Michigan, but I realistically know that it's a bit of a farfetched dream with our situations as they are.

A couple of months into our relationship, she was having issues with an ex girlfriend that was staying with her from out of town. One day, she called me, crying, because the person had physically hurt her. I felt such a rage at hearing that, listening to how upset she was. I wanted to break things, wanted to hitchhike, walk, whatever it took to get me from Oregon to Michigan as soon as possible. She brings out a fighter in me, this leonine woman that I love. I would protect her with every fiber of my being.

I understand I can't satisfy ever need she may have, and that she may someday find another that can be there for her in person. But even if she does, she will always and forever have half of my heart.

I want her for life, not just for a little while.